Who is Love Securely?
We Almost Gave Up
Five years ago, we were stuck.
Same arguments, different day. Growing resentment. That terrible feeling of being lonely even when you're together.
We'd both been through painful breakups before. We knew what didn't work. But knowing what NOT to do isn't the same as knowing what WILL work.
We were determined not to repeat our past mistakes, but we had no idea where to start.
So We Became Obsessed
We read everything. Gottman. Sue Johnson. Brené Brown. Attachment theory research papers at 2am.
We tried every exercise, every framework, every "communication technique" therapists recommend.
Most of it? Helpful in theory. Impossible to remember when you're actually upset.
But some things? Total game changers.
Understanding our attachment styles explained EVERYTHING. Learning how to repair after fights saved us from spiraling. Having actual tools we could use in the moment, not just concepts to understand, completely transformed our relationship.
Three years in, we realized something amazing: we're not fighting anymore. We're actually happy. This stuff really works.
Why We Created Love Securely
We kept wishing we'd had these tools five years earlier. How much pain could we have avoided?
So we started organizing everything that worked for us:
- The frameworks that actually stuck
- The exercises we still use regularly
- The research backed methods that made sense
- The tools we could grab mid argument
We simplified the academic stuff. Tested everything in our own relationship. Made it practical for exhausted couples who don't have time for therapy homework.
Love Securely is what we wish had existed when we were struggling. No fluff. No therapy speak. Just the tools that transformed our relationship, made simple and actionable.
Meet Us
"My go to was shutting down when things got hard. Classic avoidant attachment. Learning to stay present during difficult conversations was the hardest and most important work I've ever done.
I push us to keep things simple and usable. If it's too complicated to remember during an actual argument, it's not making it into our guides."
"I used to spiral during conflicts, reading into everything, needing constant reassurance. Learning about anxious attachment changed my life. Now I can catch myself before the spiral starts.
I'm the detail person behind our guides. I need proof before I believe anything, so I made sure everything we share is backed by research and actually works."
Our Promise to You
Every tool has been tested in our own relationship (we still use these regularly)
If it's too complicated or theoretical, we don't include it (simple beats perfect)
We're not therapists, we're translators (taking proven methods and making them actually usable)
Real Results from Real Couples
"Honestly didn't expect this to help as much as it did. We'd been stuck in the same arguments for years. This gave us something to focus on together without it feeling heavy. Things feel easier now, more connected."
"We used to spiral during fights, but this gave us tools to pause and actually listen. The CARE method changed how we argue, for the better."
"This made it easier to talk about things we usually avoid. We've been way more affectionate and kind to each other."
Important: We're Not Therapists
Our guides compile and simplify evidence based relationship research. We share what worked for us, based on frameworks developed by actual experts.
If you're experiencing serious relationship distress, abuse, or mental health concerns, please seek help from a qualified therapist. Our tools work best alongside professional support or as practical resources for couples doing the work themselves.
Think of us as your relationship obsessed friends who did all the research and testing so you don't have to.
Frequently Asked Questions
We read and respond to every message.